A Collection of Writings
The Season to be Merry! And why not. The 'war' against Iraq has been justified and the Monstrous Saddam has been dragged from his bolt hole and humiliated before the world, 'in accordance with the Geneva Convention' - I seem to remember someone saying. And we all know what a liar he is. He continues to claim that he had no weapons of mass destruction and had destroyed what he had 12 years ago in accordance with the UN resolution. Which is patently false. If he didn't have them then we wouldn't have found them by now, but the fact that we haven't found them means that they are definitely there only the perfidious President has hidden them away beyond the reach of man. (At least I think that is what the line is now?) Perhaps he will now confess why he didn't use the WMD he didn't have to repel the invasion of his country? Anyway I seem to detect that when we said we were going to war because Swinish Saddam had WMD it was only a ruse. Our sole goal was to liberate the people of Iraq, capture their tormentor Saddam and have a show trial. Now that the people of Iraq love us and the formalities are out of the way we can move on to the interesting part of the ploy. Middle East Monopoly. No doubt while Blair's back is turned sorting out the world's problems, dastardly Germany and insufferable France will skilfully throw the dice so that they can land on the juicier sites and get their reward for doing what they think is best for their own back yard. A claim that cannot be laid against the Coalition Forces which were deployed on humanitarian grounds.
My New Year wish is that somebody will sit me down and explain everything to me. I get so confused. I know who the good guys are! I know who the bad guys are! Why do I find it so hard to tell them apart?
As usual the annual Autumn event in New Jersey in November was fantastic. It gave me a chance to meet lots of old friends and new ones. Chiller Theatre is something else. Run by the hirsute and laid back man mountain Kevin Clement, it just gets bigger and better every year. In fact so successful is it that its success bred a few complaints this year. With over 30,000 supplicants shuffling through the door there were complaints that it was suffocating itself to death. Luckily Kevin is on top of it and is contemplating a move to a more accessible venue in 04. Whether a new venue will enhance the Saturday night ritual of the Fancy Dress Ball is doubtful. This year it had a magnificent turnout with costumes from Nazi officers to diabolical Dorothy and the Straw Man. Music was so overwhelming that I swear I saw the giant loud speakers hopping about the dance floor.
Werewolf
Back from the States and straight into the 7th Fan Club Reunion and Birthday Bash. This year has been voted the best ever - and not just by me. It was held for the fourth year running in the Polish Centre in Hammersmith and was attended by over 70 members of the club and friends. The Russian band gave its all and encouraged a lot of the diners to rush onto the dance floor and do improvised versions of traditional Russian dances. This seemed to consist mainly of leaping up and down and falling over. Not exactly the Kirov Ballet but I'm sure the participants will improve with time. Next year, for the 8th Fan Club Reunion, we must have a few doctors standing by to deal with strained ligaments and lacerated vocal cords. Perhaps a seal on the Vodka bottle might also help.
Traditionally the British Film Convention scene ends with a flourish at the Memorabilia Show in the NEC, Birmingham. This year was no exception. With a gate of over 20,000, the 107 celebrities that Henry Cook had fielded to sign autographs was the biggest and best ever. I was also pleased to see so many of the Fan Club turn out and pay me a visit. Luckily Henry always allocates me the same position, just inside the main entrance on Stand A6. With 1,400 stands amassed in the hall I'd be lost if I was shunted around.
I'm looking forward to January. The Graham Masterton book, THE PREY is to be filmed. It is now scheduled to start on 2 January in Pinewood and then onto location in the Isle of Man. I'm looking forward to it even if the prospects of brass monkeys retaining their monkey-hood on the island in mid-winter are not good. My daughter Steffanie will be playing the lead and I will give my wicked old crone performance. This is the second film I have done with Steffie. Two years ago I did the mad old psychologist bit in THE ASYLUM and Steffie played the lead - with similar problems.
If you are reading this before Christmas - have a good one. If you are reading this before New Year - believe me - this will be your year. If you read this after the Weapons of Mass Destruction are found - is your name Methuselah by any chance?