A Collection of Writings
So that's it! Another year on its way out. I always thought that the Summer Solstice was all lazy days and balmy nights with romance wafting on a miasma of honeysuckle and azaleas. Now I've discovered the truth. It is the Winter Solstice that is the harbinger of fresh breezes and blossoming flowers. The long nights huddled around the central heating, dressed up in extravagant costumes of the Green Man, Father Christmas and gorilla suits. The happy banter as we leap, naked, over the crackling embers of a woodland fire, the languorous thud of the mating snail, the happy but glazed expression as Where Eagles Dare is aired for the umpteenth time and the thrill of anticipation as we slide naked into the ice-cold sheets. It beats Summer every time. No one has even suggested that I join them for a naked frolic under the ancient menhirs of Stonehenge or offered me a ride with the New Age Travellers as they snake across the West Country. Stopping only to explain in the politest terms to inquisitive policemen that the cheque for the road fund tax is in the post and the two, canvas smooth tyres on the back wheels really are slicks off Schumacher's Ferrari. I guess it's all to do with the varicose veins, flannel nighties and halitosis. But you'd think someone would care. Wouldn't you?
Good news is that Hammer has just confirmed my contract to write the definitive book on the company's horror output. Like everyone else who has ever written a book on anything, I want to make it 'different'. My 'different' is easy. I want first hand stories about what happened way back 'when'. I've already interviewed most of the doyens and doyennes of the early Hammer days who are not dribbling down their T-shirt yet. I've even unearthed a lady who was a corporal in the ATS and served in the same regiment as Colonel James Carreras, the late Hammer boss. She was his driver and has some very interesting tales to tell. But of course I want more. More and More and More!. So if you have any back ground tales of derring-do and risque stories that might go unpublished - you know where to send them - pittofhorror.com. All contributors will be acknowledged in the book.
Spyder Curphey of Compulsion has just added a fantastic new model to his line of pewter Darth Vaders, Freddy Mercurys and svelte nudes. Me! In hot water. It seems that when anybody thinks of me a hip bath and bare breasts spring to mind. So that is what you get. The models are being cast at the moment but if you keep a frisky eye on www.compulsion.net you should be able to see what I mean. It's not the only model out there at the moment. There's a pert little job that can be viewed in the Store and, in the course of manufacture, a caped companion piece for the Chris Lee model now wowing them at conventions. Hopefully this will also be out in time to celebrate the Winter Solstice.
Had a near miss recently. I'm going to tell you about it whether you are interested or not. Well - maybe near miss is a bit of a porkie - I was in Richmond and the happening occurred in Peterborough - but.... I had done a show on Ideal World (Channel 66) that was the pipe cleaner to see if I could cut it. I couldn't have done too badly because I was asked back and there was chatter about me getting a monthly spot called Horror Memorabilia - or some such. The day I was due to make my trip into the wide lands beyond the security of the M25 I got a call from the producer telling me that the studio had burned down. I though it was a bit excessive. A simple, "Naff off" would have been sufficient. Imagine my surprise when a month later I was again invited back onto the show. The original studios are just a hole in the ground now. A hole surrounded by very utilitarian Portacabins, - but effective. I did my stint and afterwards was told that the original idea of a monthly prog is still on. So if you can get Channel 66, (I can't) look out for a stunning performance from me in the near future. If I can just get my motivation right......
Cuddly Kevin Clement, wily showman that puts on the hugely successful Chiller Theatre a half a dozen miles outside New York, has asked me back for the seventh time. I love New York in Fall - how about you? Is that a cue for a song or is that a cue for a song? The Convention is over 4 days and between 15 and 20,000 people file through the doors. On Saturday night everyone dresses up in all sorts of outlandish and ghoulish gear and goes bananas to the sound of Black Metal bands. If my zimmer frame can stand the vibrations I'll be there, twisting the night away - or whatever it is you do now.
In case you haven't heard, the 5th Annual Fan Club Reunion and Birthday Bash will be held at the Polish Club in Hammersmith on the 17th November 2001. Just in case you haven't heard of it, it's something you shouldn't miss - And I've got the letters to prove it. It's a full, delicious Polish dinner, including wine, vodka and a Champagne reception and costs just £35 for non members of the fan club and £30 for members. If you want more details send an S.A.E. and I'll send you the low-down PLUS a FREE Poster Book of me in hot water, two thirds life size, from the film VAMPIRE LOVERS. Don't miss this opportunity - I don't give things away very often.
If you are in Glasgow on the 22nd. August, drop into the Memorabilia 2001 Show at the SECC and say hello.
Luv Ingrid