A Collection of Writings
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR FREDDY KRUEGER! Let me explain.... I was on the jury of the 16th Bruxelles Fantasy Film Festival, having lunch in a restaurant called Halloween, all leering plaster monsters, bad lighting and goonish waiters in Friar's frocks, when in walked Robert Englund.
Ingrid and Robert Englund
If there's one thing I'm susceptible to it's a flatterer. And what could be more flattering than to have the King of Horror state that I was his fantasy, and declare I was the reason he was into Horror films!
It happened like this.... He was in the back of a Dodge (wider seats he assures me), in a Drive-in Cinema, about to get his leg over, when he happened to glance up at the screen. And what did he see? Me, doing my bit in The Vampire Lovers.
He cooled his ardour and concentrated on me. After that loin stirring moment, Robert became a big fan of Horror Films and the rest is history. If you don't believe me - ask him. So - I repeat my claim - I spawned Freddy Krueger.
Robert Englund was at the festival to promote his film Wishmaster and to introduce the new kid on the horror block - Andrew Divoff. Not my cup of Earl Grey at all, but the exploding bodies and ruptured eyeballs faded to nothing when Andrew was doing his bit. Whatever you have to have in this business to get wherever it is you want to get - he's got.
The spectacular opening for the two week long Festival is the Bal des Vampires, staged in a disused warehouse in the centre of Brussels. 2000 horror fans, dressed to kill and totally welded to the music. The dry ice machine was not the only thing smoking on the dance floor. The fall-out from drifting illegal substances is no good for a home-girl like me.
The following day didn't start too well. Sinuses and frontal lobes totally corrupted, I managed to stagger onto a jet and fly back to London. My latest book, The IP Bedside Companion for Vampire Lovers was being touted at the London Book Fair in Olympia and I was expected to be there, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, glad-handing the distributors.
Back in Brussels, things were hotting up. Nancy Allen (Robocop) had arrived with fellow actress Rachel Carson from the States. George Sluizer also arrived. He directed one of my all time favourite films, The Vanishing, amongst a score of other big hits. The other jury members included Arno Hintjens (singer) and Ben Verbong (The Girl with Red Hair). Lewis Gilbert (Bond, Stepping Out etc) turned up and we lunched in a derelict warehouse that had been rejuvenated as a swish restaurant. Lewis was there on an annual pilgrimage to impart knowledge to the young at the Brussels Film School. Tom Conti also put in a brief appearance. Once we had settled in and got to know each other it was a round of films and gastronomy that didn't let up.
The penultimate night at the Cinema 44 was dominated not by the movies but by a boat race. A boat race in a cinema? The audience was split in half. On the left the 'Blues' - on the right the 'Reds'. A rubber dinghy with a sailor aboard was launched into the audience who, with a lot of noise and gusto, pushed it back through the auditorium to the back wall and then back to the stage. Three times! Madness.
The time had come for the showdown. Twelve films had been in competition and I thought the distribution of the prizes was pretty obvious. But no! We all sat around for hours mulling over the merits and missed opportunities of such films as Lawn Dogs, Photographing Fairies, Perdita Durango, 8 Heads in a Duffle Bag, The Arcane Enchanter, Wishmaster, Cure, etc.
It's great being on a jury and in a position to act as executioner as well as judge. Before too much blood was spilled, we came to a daggers-drawn decision to give Lawn Dogs first prize for best picture, 8 Heads in a Duffle Bag best special effects and The Arcane Enchanter first prize for artistic achievement. Perdita Durango got a special mention but no prize.
A spectacular finale for the prize giving included some wildly made up creatures from the underworld that were plagiarised from H.G.Wells' Time Machine - the Morlocks - and a tall, willowy figure in an outrageously beautiful dress who minced around with the prizes. Arno Hintjens gave her a speculative look and murmured in my ear "I bet you'd get a surprise if you stuck your hand down the front of her pants". I wonder what he meant...
Next morning we all sobered up and slumped into our chauffeur driven limos to be deposited at the airport and back to reality. The reality is that THE BOOK is upon us. Elsewhere there is a list of venues I'll be visiting for book signing sessions. There is also information about the statue, or bust rather, that Dave Elsey, of Creature Effects at Pinewood Studios, has made of me. I'm not sure but everyone else assures me it's a dead ringer. Must be because I look so bad tempered.
Have you heard about the Hammer Celebration at Bray Studios on June 27th? Hammer Archivist, chubby little Don Fearney, is staging a real coffin top reunion of all the old familiar faces and other parts. Guest list includes Martine Beswicke, back in England after a long time in L.A, Veronica Carlson, Hazel Court, Yutte Stensgaard, Caroline Munro, Patrick Mower, Michael Ripper etc.
And all for a measly £55. But you've got to jump fast. Most of the 200 available tickets are spoken for. Try calling Don Fearney on 0181 806 0138 and staking a claim.
I've done my record, laid down my track, scored my groove, burned my plate or whatever the terminology is when you've just become the oldest Heavy Metal Rapper in the music business. The group's called Cradle of Filth and the CD distribution is by Music for Nations.
And lastly - I had a hoot of an appearance on Cambridge Red TV. 60 minutes of hilarity. Thanks to all the listeners who wrote and phoned in. I expect to be back there in May on the Paul Lavers show, Paul's People. If you're in the Cambridge area, ring in and say hello.
Luv Ingrid