A Collection of Writings
Uri Geller writes: 'When she wishes to terrify, she piles up our nightmares and, with lashes of her whip, drives them to the brink ........ a can't put down.
Publisher: B.T. Batsford
EXTRACTS FROM THE BEDSIDE COMPANION FOR GHOSTHUNTERS
EDWARD ll
.......a key player for the other team he had his kingly duty to perform. ......couldn't resist creating his favourite, Piers de Gaveston, Earl of Cornwall..... saw which way the blood was running he turned south and didn't stop....... sent his wife (Isabella) off to her brother (Phillip) to try and make him see sense....... Isabella and Roger (de Mortimer) marched on London and overthrew the King....... if he abdicated she (Isabella) promised that she would not touch a hair of his head...... poker was heated until it was white hot..... cow's horn with the tip cut off was stuck up his bum.......... fiery rod stuck deep into his vitals..... on a calm moonlit night..... relives for eternity ...........the horrendous pain of his barbarous death. A death that makes your sphincter twitch just thinking about it.
THE MAN IN GREY
........who hangs out at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane........ does seem to interact with his surroundings...... the cast for The Dancing Years was on stage for a rehearsal........... he appeared at the back of the auditorium on the upper circle, stood for a moment .......did his usual perambulation and disappeared........ propped up in the corner was a skeleton in a grey suit and boots........ out of the skeletal ribs was a workmanlike knife........ actor with an ambitious understudy ? Or a writer with a bad case of plagiarism?
SPECTRAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM
Like all heroes of the forties Jimmy wore a uniform and set his brothers eyes shining with hero worship......... it was too late for Jimmy.......... he had borne the brunt of the Nazi fighter's attack....... By the time Billy was authorised to wear his wings the war was over bar the treaty signing........ Billy was fighting to keep the aircraft airborne........ into the jaws of the Corinth Canal...... buffeting wind seem to stop on the instant...... Billy knew that the spirit was Jimmy............. Jimmy flew down the narrow canal more surely than any guidance system....... of course nobody believed their story. Fly along the Corinth Canal - impossible!
SO WHAT IS A GHOST?
.......Christian religion .......... makes the whole thing easy. ............. the spirit shuffles off into a state of limbo where it can ask all the questions it couldn't get an answer to .............. why didn't I win the lottery? Or why did Jatne Mansfield have bigger breasts than me?......... Heavenly ghosts seem to have a penchant for appearing in sleazy sitting rooms in Blackpool................. Spiritualists believe .........the ghosts........ have slipped through the system and don't know they are dead.