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Ingrid's Obituary


Ingrid Says... Pitt of Horror Website Message

October 2005

Ingrid Says....

Ingrid at the Typewriter

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to wake up one morning and over your croissants and Early Grey find out there had been a spiritual, cultural and moral revolution over night? That Governments no longer used terror tactics and Cassandra-like warnings to keep the population in fear and foreboding and willing to swallow any garbage any politician with an angle to work will use as a level? Just looking through the daily paper is enough to bring on a severe attack of the hives.

Looking through the newspapers on a day at random tells you everything. Bird flu sweeping towards us. Estimated 50,000 dead in the first week, 250,000 in the second. And so on exponentially. Of course the flu has never yet been passed from one human to another and to reach the status of a pandemic it would have to go through a series of mutations that seem improbable. But the scare takes the focus off what else is going on in the world. Prisons are full up and badly administered. So violent criminals are going to be allowed out of jail and kept under control by electronic tagging. Never mind that this has been proved to be ineffective. The tagged just cut off the tags and go off and rob, rape and murder and nobody is to blame. The prisons will then be full of ‘white collar’ criminals who never did any physical harm and are easier to manage. Labour came into power with a bonus of £30,000,000,000. The highest amount an incoming government has inherited - ever! Now it seems that Chancellor Brown has not only spent the mega £30 really big ones but has somehow sleep walked us into a black hole of an estimated £12bn. The Royal and Ancient has graciously allowed women professional golfers the right to play in Open tournaments against men. Then booked a date for qualifying when the real hot-shots like 16 year old Michelle Wie, won’t be able to make it.

Michael Jackson has arrived in England. 15 year old schoolboy seduced by his teacher. A boyhood dream. Whether or not David Cameron has ever availed himself of a quick whiff of cannabis is more important than his politics. The cost of posting letters to loved ones is going up. Again! More filling for Brown’s Black Hole. The number of victims of the disease Psoriasis is now put at 1,000.000 in the UK. 70 dead in the police efforts to clear out what they describe as ‘terror’ gangs in Chechnya. An estimated 8,000,000 sufferers of Diabetes in Great Britain, 40,000 dead in Pakistan earthquake disaster, disease and death still stalking the streets of New Orleans, blind passengers slung off an aircraft because they present too great a risk in an emergency, millions of the donated cash for the Tsunami disaster disappears in a black hole - not of Brown’s making. Claims that more Iraqis have now been killed than Saddam Hussein could claim to shake a stick at have been validated. Then there is the driver of an unlicensed, uninsured and un-roadworthy car. He kills a man and gets off with a fine of £2,750 and banned from driving for 5 years. David Beckham gets red-carded. Wayne Rooney is compared with Maradona (should that be Madonna?) - and on and on it goes.

Why can’t we have stories about companies with real voices on their telephone lines? Where’s the announcement that a new source of energy has been discovered that doesn’t chew up the environment and is renewable and cheap? Why doesn’t Manna fall from heaven as it did spectacularly in days of yore? Instead of bombs. How great to read that Al Qaeda agrees that Islam is a friendly non-violent or aggressive religion and wants to lead compliant Christians in the way of love and forgiveness. Why can’t an earthquake occur in the middle of the Sahara Desert and release an endless supply of clean drinking water and revitalise the whole area and put an end to famine and sickness? And what about if War President Bush rang Premier Weasel Blair and told him we could bring the troops home and then they would sit down with Osama Bin Laden and his cronies and talk cooperation and peace? And the simple, inexpensive drug that has been found to cure cancer, heart disease, diabetes, MS and all the other scourges of the human state, will be made available, free, to all sufferers. And how about hearing that prisons are being turned into warehouses to store supplies of food before being sent to people in need now that prisons are no longer needed because it has been discovered that the basis for good citizenship, is discipline, plenty, charity and love? And instead of talking a lot of guff and banning certain words on the basis that they are presumed non-PC, the anal-retentives who work for quangos who decide what we can or can’t say, are shuffled off into more gainful employment that is essential for the well-being of the community at large. Like street cleaners, lavatory attendants and waiters. And please let us have Robertson’s Golly back on the jam. I’m sure nobody could possibly be offended by it.

So it’s only a dream scenario. But what else will we have after another ten years of our basic rights being drastically scraped away?

If you want to have a go at me or wish to express solidarity, pop across to the Pitt of Horror Forum. I’m taking on all comers. But be nice. I’m only a little old lady with a whip.

More depression. Two of my oldest and best friends, one in England and one in America, Joe Khan and James Helkowski, died on the same day. Both of them were wonderful examples of what anyone could be if given the chance. I will miss them.

Off to the SECC in Glasgow for the Memorabilia Show on the 5th and 6th of November. Then it is the 9th Fan Club Reunion on the 19th November in Hammersmith. You don’t have to be a member - but it helps. Then it’s the Birmingham Memorabilia at the NEC on the 26th & 27th November.

See you there?

The Writings of Ingrid Pitt